My best friend
Jesse’s been my friend since we were 5. We’ve been through a lot of shenanigans. He’s an awesome dude. But sometimes, I wonder how me and him are capable of standing each other at all, let along hanging out every single day hahaha.
Jesses hates the music I listen because he says it’s “fag music”. I hate the music he listens to because it’s really obnoxious rap.
He is a complete asshole to everyone that isn’t me. Some of my favorite Jesse quotes are “the way to live your life is to not listen to anything girls say. A girls feelings don’t mean shit. I just consider all girls to be vaginas that talk.” and also “get rid of your heart. Feelings are for faggots.” He also keeps track of how many girls he has had sex with. I make fun of him for it on a regular basis by saying things like “everyone cares so much man!” and he doesn’t like my sarcasm haha. His current tally is 21 because he has to brag about it every chance he gets.
He makes fun of me for not drinking because he says “getting drunk is like the quickest way to get laid” yes, Jesse. because sex with drunken strangers sounds like a lot of fun to me.
He tells me I think too much. “Thinking isn’t gonna get anything done. Just get fucked up, forget everything.” uhh no thanks
But hey, best friends for life! haha I love the goofy bastard.
